The Bathroom

A while ago, The Johnster, Mister Philthy, and your's truly, Rack of Lam decided to take a semi-impromptu road trip up to Northern California to pick up a car and for a good time in the Bay Area. Halfway through our trip, we encountered the most day-ruining thing possible in this world: a problem with the car. There we were, stranded in the who-knows-where pits of California, and unable to call AAA for help because there were no signs around. To worsen matters, we were in the narrow roads of Mid-California so with one swerve of a car on the oncoming traffic, we were doomed. So, luckily the police found us and called AAA and we got dropped off at Los Banos, CA (yes ladies and gentlemen, "The Bathroom"). Since that was one of the worst times of my life (due to details I will not go into), I thought it'd be very helpful if I, Rack of Lam, provided for you the reader a list of things to inspect in your cars before taking a road trip so you can avoid getting lost in the bathrooms of wherever you're at. Use it as a checklist for convenience.

1: Oil - Black and jelly texture is no good. Remember that.
2. Transmission fluid - Chunky, metal shreds are no good.
3. Battery - Use a voltmeter to test the battery. If there is corrosion build up around the battery, a little Coke and scrubbing will take care of it.)
4. Air Filter - Black or brown air filter is no good. Get it checked out.
5. Proper amount of water in radiator - Unscrew radiator cap (with extreme caution!) and check for water. If there is some, good. If not, then fill 'er up.
6. Lights - Make sure all your lights work. That includes the headlights, taillights, brake lights, brights, turn signals, and brights.
7. Tires - Take a penny, put it into the tread of the tire w/ Abe's head pointing down. If the tread comes up to his head, then you're good. Anything less, then there's been some good wear on your tires.
8. Toolbox - Complete and in working order, please.

Hopefully on your next road trip, you can go through this list and you will not end up in Los Banos, CA. Trust me, it's like the twilight zone.

- Rack of Lam